Unfinished Business is a new series that I’ve just recently came up with because I have so many journal/essay entries that I’ve started, but have yet to finish. There is something so intriguing about unfinished artwork. Some of Pablo Picasso’s best pieces were his unfinished paintings. It shows the realism of the art and allows. So here is my first unfinished entry the audience to interpret their own endings. I hope you all enjoy! Please feel free to comment or give me some writing advice.
Today I’ve been struggling with a lot of emotions. I don’t know if its due to birth control side effects or if they’re actually legit. I’m just tired of being alone. I’m tired of not feeling special. I’m tired of not having someone. Someone to sing 90’s r&b with on a warm summer night. Someone to have a three hour conversation with in my car. Someone to tell me I’m beautiful on my crappiest looking day.
Someone to have magnetic chemistry with. Someone to just do life with. I also feel like this craving has gone on for too long. I still fault myself for being so insecure, so scared and so timid to express my feelings to my high school crush. At least then I would’ve learned or experienced something.
Instead of waiting around for him and being left with a bunch of “what ifs.” I blamed everything on my weight and I always shot myself down before I even attempted to shoot my shot. “He’s not into girls that look like you, don’t even try it.” This wasn’t just for my high school crush, it was for every guy I thought was cute or saw some sort of potential in.
And I realize I wasted so many years of my life hating the way my body looked. I literally was standing in my own way. Letting something so shallow, like body image control my life and hold me back from my full potential. There’s so many things I could’ve did, so many people I could’ve had a future with that I just let slip away because of those two dreadful words “I’m fat.”
This is just a journal entry. Just to let ya’ll know, these are going to be random. Sometimes they might be bullet points and sometimes they might be rant essays. It all depends on how I feel at the moment. These thoughts came at me sporadically as I was taking a nap. I felt frustrated and off course with the way my life was going and these were my feelings at the time. Journaling can low key be some of my best content. So if you enjoy complaining and randomness, feel free to read:)Continue reading “This is 24: What I Want”→
I’ve struggled with body image since I was about 8 years old. I grew up in the early 2000’s where celebs like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Christina Aguilera and Beyoncè were the body images that I looked up to. Everyone was exposing the belly, it was definitely the style during that time. Britney Spears would always wear a crop and some sort of low rise pant, which would make my eyes zero in on her perfectly, flat tummy.
I’m sitting in the bath tub right now trying think of the best possible way to live life. And when I say that I mean I’m trying to figure out how to love my life. I want to wake up in the morning and be motivated to start my day. I want to be inspired by what I do and have fun making a living. I can already tell that I’m not one of those people who can just go to the same job, with same people, doing the same thing from 9pm to 5pm 8hr straight. Then sit there waiting for the weekend. I don’t want to just be excited for the weekend, I want to be excited for every day of my life.
I really don’t know where my life is going. I’m solely being led by God because I really have no idea. I used to have goals and ambitions, but now my mind is just blank. Like what am I doing? Who am I? Will I stay like this for the rest of my life?
Note: I was really inspired to write this for some reason. However I feel like I could’ve ended it a little better, but you know how the writer’s brain can get sometimes! Please comment if you liked it and tell me a better way to have ended it. Thanks, XOXO Whitspiration.
When I was growing up slang could determine everything. From the way someone spoke to the words they chose to use. All of this defined where they were from, the kind of person they were and the kind of people they hung out with. Being from the suburbs of South Jersey you’d think that my slang would’ve been very low key or just non existent. However the area I grow up in was heavily influenced by Philadelphia and that “city life” culture. A lot of the kids in my high school were originally from Philadelphia or Camden.
Pre-Warning: I’ve been bored with everything that I’ve attempted to write lately so this about to be a new approach. Lets see how it goes……
The kitchen light is on and it slightly lights up the living room, Live PD is on and a man is going on and on about his wife. Why is there even a Live show about police arresting people anyway? Why does our society want to put everything on blast and broadcast everything?
I’ve always been a healthy sized girl since the day I can remember. I came out of my mother’s womb at 9 lbs and 13 ounces. My mom had to have a c-section because I was so big. She always tells me how plumped my cheeks were and how many times she bit me on them because they were so enticing. Everyone loves a chubby baby and it’s cute to be chunky as child, but not so much when you get older.
Due to confidentiality, there will be no names given in this essay.
So I’m a 23 year old and I’m just getting adjusted to adult work life, at least that’s what I call it. I’ve only had a couple of internships, and this year I finally have an almost official job as a teacher’s aide. I had the opportunity to experience all of my internships in my hometown of Atlantic County, New Jersey.